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Kwing

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The grainy texture on the images looks great and makes this really feel like a pre-Flash cartoon of the 90s or earlier. You also really nailed the art style, and it really makes the animation pleasant to the eye.

Humor-wise I didn't find this especially entertaining, but it's only 2 minutes so the unfunny-ness isn't that painful to sit through, especially when the aesthetic makes up for it a lot.

There are two main hiccups that I think drags this down considerably. First, some of the animation is just way too simple. Some of the really simple stuff (like the camera pan in the beginning) have a low framerate and look jerky. The two frame loop of the rat digging through boxes looks really crude, and it wouldn't have taken THAT many more frames to create a loop (even a low framerate one) that looked less sloppy. The screen shake at the very end is another example of this - just a few more frames to slow this down would make it look more like something that might actually air on Cartoon Network.

The second issue is the timing. Not just comedic timing, but the timing of the shots as well. It's a short animation (under 2 minutes) yet panning and fading transitions are all we see for the first 30 seconds of it. Some of the relatively short shots should be even shorter, like the rat tearing apart the box, or the first shot of him reaching into it (you play the same loop later and that time it's shown for the right amount of time.) Similarly, both shots of the rat holding the snow globe are just a little too long, as well as the still shot of the mess the rat made. All of these things might seem like nitpicks, but if you imagine how awkward it might be to talk to someone that randomly inserted... half second pauses while speaking... to you, it makes sense how not only these small differences of a fraction of a second can create a disruptive experience, but how a bunch of them back to back make the final product look unpolished.

E-Nat responds:

Thanks for your feedback! I'll improve my short films better in the future 💖

The length of this animation is pretty impressive, but it's flawed several times over. The dialogue is pretty broken in terms of grammar and it's not especially clear what the plot is. The subtitles and pauses also slow the animation way down and make it a bit tedious (some voice acting, even Speakonia, would have made this feel a bit faster.) At the same time, a lot of the animation loops (like the wings flapping) happen way too fast and the quality of animation just isn't there. Especially for a looping animation the audience will see over and over, it would be a good idea to put some more time (and frames) into loops like these even if you have to cut corners on other parts.

HantomPro responds:

yeah,i can see,in episode 2 i can get better to give a good explanation in things to happen in animation,and make a storyboard,improve the fluidity and everything,about the possible voice acting,my preference was to do something that reminds me of undertale.

The animation is really well done but I can barely understand what the characters are saying so I can't even begin to understand the jokes. As a quick tip, this is how you can keep Flash from compressing your audio:

Publish -> Publish Settings -> Audio event/stream -> Higher bitrate and "Override sound settings"

A couple things like the dick cutting gag weren't unfunny in the sense that they were offensive but rather that they just felt boring. I'm not sure if it's just that the joke was fundamentally unfunny or if a difference in timing could have sold it a bit better.

RagingStreetTaco responds:

Thanks for the critique. Yeah, I sort of kept the default audio settings to mask my terrible on-the-spot voice work, especially for Hellanna's voice. The modifier made some distortions that can be heard when streaming the raw audio.
As for everything else, you're right. You would not believe how unhappy I was with how it turned out. When testing the movie, I felt a very strong emotion. My friend called it duress, I'm not entirely sure about that. Frankly, I hated most of it.
The dick gag was really off due to the fact that it was literally made an hour before submission. It was supposed to be a main part of the movie and have an actual payoff later. A lot in this movie are artifacts from when it was a bigger project. I really just want to overhaul everything and make it less awkward and more coherent. Trust me bro, it would've been g8.
If you want to know more, just hit me up. I'd be happy to elaborate on everything.

This reminds me a lot of Jehtt's redubs, although a bit more shitposty of a vibe with the intentionally bad animations, graphical glitches, and random swearing.

I like Sonic shitposts in general (the "plus I'm in hell" really got me) but this is really too short for the humor contained within it. Bare minimum I think the audience should have at least seen the aftermath of the his bowl.

ZabuJard responds:

i hate all e stars including jehtt, thnx for review, the point of this (side point) where the humor is for me is that u dont SEE the climax, u totally miss the ending, the taking away of thw whole point of the cartoon is like a funny spit in the face of the v iewer, it comes out of nowhere, and ends nowhere, imo

Pretty good, but room for improvement.

So there's four shots in this super short animation. The close-up of the eyes, the close-up of the face which transitions with the first, then after the punch from the side, and finally after the punch head-on. It strikes me as a little anticlimactic that we skip from the 2nd shot to the 3rd - you never actually get to see the punch, or even what was being punched. The third shot also has these weird wave effects, and the slow pace they move at feels a little awkward, including the big wave which is used to transition to the fourth shot. The fourth shot has the slight breathing animation but would probably look a bit better if the movement were LESS smooth. Think of heavy, ragged breathing. It's not a consistent in-out kind of motion, but rather tends to happen in short heaves.

Add in the actual punch and clean up the 3rd shot a little and you'll have something that looks way nicer. Also, even if this is only a proof of concept, sound effects would have made this a lot more impactful as well. The angles are so cinematic that it almost feels criminal not to have some audio to go along with it.

As to what was done right... The graphics themselves look phenomenal. And not just the linework, but also the color choice, with everything being in different shades of blue. Very captivating to the eye.

ai0950 responds:

Thank you very much for your feedback, it's really helpful! I'll definitely try to implement it in future animations

Holy shit dude. So many Doors submissions are like 5 seconds long. This thing is deluxe. The effects (which you're pretty well known for) are absolutely stunning - honestly parts of this look like they could have been animated by Xenophoss, definitely some inspiration from Ghost Fight BOS as well. Though it's still very much your style. Just wow!

Miccool responds:

Yeah, I definitely looked back on a lotta old school stick fights to draw inspiration from as well as modern anime. Ghost Fight being the big one forsure. Also my friend gave me extra time to work on my part which is why mine's a lot longer than most.

Thanks for the kind words!

I had no idea this even existed, but to be honest it didn't wow me. Miccool and Terkoiz are some of my favorite animators, but the framerate here is just too low for the final product to look good (sans the particle effects which still look pretty nice.) Nice work with the demon, also the facial expressions are highly reminiscent of some of Endo's animations. But overall the quality of animation just isn't up to snuff with what these guys are capable of (even for its era - SHOCK2 was miles better than this.)

dkuo responds:

im shocked anyone's found this in 2018 lol. looking back you're absolutely right haha

Not having used After Effects, I don't know how difficult it is to make something like this, but ultimately I wasn't wowed by it. For an animation it's too short, but for an intro it struck me as too long and oversaturated with effects. In particular, having the word "football" appear diagonally and then right itself seemed unnecessary, and its fade back into the Zips logo looked a little cheesy. It may have taken time and lots of processing power to render this, but sometimes less is more.

JakobePaulobe responds:

Thanks for sharing your perspective, I really appreciate all the feedback you've given me over the years.

I put together several alternate versions/takes for my bosses and coworkers every time I added a new layer to the animation, and the most obnoxious ones always seemed to get the most overwhelmingly positive responses, so I just kept going back and adding more and more.

Honestly, I agree with many of the points you made, this animation is obnoxious and VERY cheesy in a lot of ways.

Probably got a little too carried away with this one... :D

Wow. This looks really nice. The pacing of everything was quite slow, so I think it would have been nice if the recurring walking animation were a bit slower as well. I also thought the girl could have shown a bit more emotion when rubbing the lemon into her cut. Short of that, this is smooth and attractive.

That said, the concept itself doesn't appear to be too original (perhaps I'm misreading it.) So the girl has some kind of ability (or disability) that causes her to see something (which may or may not be real) if she falls asleep. Then she falls asleep. Okay. We don't really get an idea of why anything happens or why it matters.

KarlSia responds:

Thanks! Yeah I agree, the walking bit should've been a tad longer. I did want to animate her agonizing over the pain, but thats one of the many scenes I had to cut out to save time.

Maybe its not too original, but to retort, I'm a firm believer that nothing is purely original anymore. That everything is a copy of a copy of a copy either entirely or partially, whether intended or not. So what matters to me is the execution of the idea. My intention is that nothing is to be explained, and instead for the audience to focus on feeling empathetic, yet slightly disturbed. And hopefully with the combination of that, would drive your imagination and curiosity too.

Once upon a time, water taught itself how to feel pain.

Age 29, Male

Software engineer /

United States

Joined on 7/24/07

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