Let me start by saying I absolutely LOVE the musical themes here. That said, I feel like this song suffered death by a thousand cuts in tiny things that just felt off or awkward. The drums felt kind of stiff and redundant and something about the mixing on the guitar sounded muddy to me (same for the drums at 3:03.) Melodically, everything up until the 2:03 mark sounded great, but the transition into the next part seemed graceless to me, and I really wanted the riff at 2:31 to incorporate something different from its first permutation (in general, while the riffs were great I wasn't happy with the level of repetition.) And to top it all off, the studio fade at the end just felt like a REALLY hasty conclusion.
Style and mood-wise, this is the song closest to my own preferences that I've had to judge this round, which is probably why everything I didn't like was so immediately apparent to me. On the plus side, this is EXACTLY the kind of music I want for Kabel's soundtrack, so if you want maybe we can work together in the future!