Score: 8

"Fun"

submission: In Utero

date: June 9, 2009

It was a simple game, and fun, but lacked some more depth and could have been way longer. I suppose there's not much more to it then that, although it had some good graphics. Tips for the boss: Analyze what he looks like right before he fires off an attack. If he looks maniacal, just move up or down. If he pounds the ground, move left or right, and if he looks angry but NOT maniacal (no bulges) then just jet straight up.

Score: 7

"Tedious"

submission: A Small Favor

date: June 9, 2009

Great graphics, neat procedure to get things done, fun little 'side quests,' and tons of ways to play... However, the game was a bit tedious, and some of the sequences were a bit long, not to mention how slowly the guy walked. It was fun the first couple times around, but it became more of a chore then leisure to get all of the medals.

Score: 9

"Fascinating"

submission: SHIFT 4

date: June 9, 2009

Interesting concept, although seeing as this is the 4th I can't exactly call it original. The multiple player thing was kind of cool, though, and so were the graphics, even if they were black and white. Fun game to play, although it got tedious. I'm glad to see you've cut out the pranks-on-the-player thing mostly. Good job, could use some originality, but you're deserving of a 9.

Score: 8

"Simple"

submission: Pilgrimage

date: June 9, 2009

Fun and simple. Liked the graphics, the music got kind of annoying after a while, the storyline was a bit bland, but the blurriness got pretty sick near the end! It was definitely fun to play, but to me it seems like you figured out how to degrade quality and decided to immediately make and submit a game with it, without much other material. Once again, good, but simple.

Score: 0

"Terrible"

submission: Meet'N'Fuck: Road Trip

date: June 9, 2009

For a long time I've refrained from reviewing one of your submissions. I found it distasteful to have my profile link to a pornographic submission. But I've decided that to spare this the slamming it deserves is nothing short of injustice. Here goes.

A spare note to anyone reading this about to vote my review Useless... I'd like to ask you whether you're voting Useless because you're a fanboy and don't like what I'm saying, or whether it's because my review is actually useless and doesn't provide any constructivism.

Graphics: 4/10, despite the decent lighting effects you used, the proportions are way off. If there was a chick whose body weight was 90% breasts, they wouldn't be very attractive. In all honesty, it's the context that makes anything arousing... And clearly put, this wasn't. And even though the lighting was okay, it wasn't exactly great.

Sound: 3/10, sound effects were obnoxiously repetitive, and the music sucked. Can't say much more about that.

Violence/Humor: 0/0, None, although it would have been interesting and maybe even entertaining if the player got killed in a car crash when he was getting a blow job. No, that is not sarcasm.

Style: 0/10, I'm going to have to be very critical about this, since it's supposed to be an arousing Flash. The dialogue is stupidly unrealistic, the art style is wack, and the whole thing is in bad taste. The whole right-then-left sequencing was totally absurd.

Interactivity: 5/10, it worked, and the ActionScript was decent, but it was basically a bunch of play buttons.

Overall: I thought I'd say way more about this. I thought I'd end up slamming this submission some more, but the thing is, the submission sucks, and I can only describe it so much. I can only put it into so many words. Flat out, this Flash is unarousing, stupid, and unrealistic. Not to mention all of these are the same. Suggestion? Quit making hentai. Call it blunt, but if you started animating something with better taste, you'd get a higher review from me.

Score: 5

":( Bad"

submission: SBC Soundboard

date: June 4, 2009

I generally don't like soundboards, but that's not why I'm going to slam this... There's a bad delay when you click on a button, making it hard to piece together sentences. Additionally, the number buttons weren't very accessible (it was hard to click right on them) which was also hard in piecing together a sentence. And lastly, the voice wasn't the right Speakonia voice. I haven't opened Speakonia in a while, but I know it has several voices, and that's the wrong one.

Score: 10

"Nice!"

submission: A

date: June 4, 2009

It might just be a ripoff of SBC's submission A (that got blammed), but thanks for the re-upload!

Score: 10

"Funny"

submission: 8-bit Theater 1

date: May 21, 2009

Makes me want to start using Black Mages again. Funny script, nice sprites, somewhat choppy animation, great voices of medium grade quality. Good job!

Score: 9

"Great"

submission: Phase Ten

date: May 21, 2009

Saw this a while ago, and it's very good, don't get me wrong. However, it did seem a little odd that when some powers were used, the receiving stick figures didn't seem to do anything to parry, block, or dodge the attacks. That's all I have to say, hence the short review.

Score: 10

"Very Nice"

submission: Yoyo vs FLLFFL

date: May 16, 2009

The animation is very smooth, with the exception of the yoyo. The first several times I watched this I was thinking how much smoother Terkoiz's animations were, but just now I realized that you took on a big challenge animating the string physics. The combos are a little fast and hard to catch, too, but other than that, the animation is great! Despite the fact that Terkoiz should have kicked your ass, it was still fun to watch, and I think you'll make a great replacement. Still wish he hadn't quit though. :(